Severely Condemning derogatory ad on men

Save Indian Family Foundation, strongly and severely condemns the Derogatory Ad being telecast at the behest of Kitply Industries. The ad shows a young timid man getting married to a woman and on the first night the bed crumbles. The wife asks the husband, “Kitply nahi laye kya?” (Have you not bought Kitply?) and slaps the husband.

Openly, brazenly and cold – bloodedly this ad not only depicts Domestic Violence on men but also promulgates it, inspiring women to do it and telling men that this is a way of life. World over international studies have proved it beyond doubt that Domestic Violence is not a gender specific issue and is a matter of equal concern for both men and women.

The situation is far worse in India wherein gender biased, lopsided, avaricious, pernicious, draconian, anachronous and unconstitutional anti – male marital laws fail to recognize the presence of Domestic Violence and acknowledge the same for men. Yes, Domestic Violence laws in India do not consider the fact that men too could be victims of Domestic Violence the way women are presumed and prejudiced to be and the Domestic Violence law in India does not allow men to make complaints of Domestic Violence in India.

This despite the fact holding true that as per Government records i.e. suicide date published by National Crime Records Bureau, every year 56, 000 married men are committing suicide which is considered as a social service in a great country like India, where 82 % of taxes are paid by men. Neither do men have a Men Welfare Ministry for them nor a National Commission for Men to look into their grievances, whereas animals do have. The condition of Indian men is worse than animals in India.

To add to the woes men are subject to the constant fear of being dragged into false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence draining them financially, socially, morally and spiritually in addition to being victims of Domestic Violence as well at the hands of their vindictive and vicious wives and in – laws who do not forget to file false cases of dowry harassment on the innocent men and their families and drag them to police station and court and unleash Legal Terrorism on them and extort money legally from them.

As if all this was no less, when corporates like Kitply Industries rain on men and promote Domestic Violence on men as a norm and when confronted for the same, shamelessly claim that it has been shown in a humorous mood, and shrug away from accountability. The contention that the ad was shown in a light spirit is subject to critical analysis and not becoming of a brand name Kitply Industries.

Save Indian Family Foundation, the single largest umbrella NGO for about 15 different NGOs fighting not only for men’s rights but also for Gender Equality and Family Harmony, severely condemns such derogatory ads and demands apology from Kitply Industries, failing which Save Indian Family Foundation will be forced to issue legal notices to them to respond properly.

One can only imagine the kind of euphoria that would have been generated if they had shown a man slapping a woman in similar manner. So when activists championing the cause of Equality for Women are crying foul, why are they now silent when Gender Equality is critically endangered and its existence seriously jeopardized with such derogatory ad content. This only depicts the hollow goals with which such activists work and want to rake in the mullah in the name of Women Empowerment and feminism but do not believe in actual equality based on truth and justice.

Save Indian Family Foundation re – iterates its demand of an apology from Kitply Industries and once again puts this question to the civil society and the government that how long are they continuing to consider men as second class citizens in their own country?

Alimony - The Trojan Horse of Matrimony

Irony defining life it seems has become a norm in today’s times. And it does not seem to spare the most controversial social institution, working as first step towards familial life, aka the INDIAN MARRIAGE. The irony here is that what starts as a pompous celebration and extravagant spending ends with financially, emotionally and spiritually draining litigation with mud – slinging from both sides aka the DIVORCE. And ending a marriage is very costly for a man, not only of because the fear of false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence against him but also as he is liable to pay alimony or maintenance pedante lite to his wife.

The concept of alimony, although was designed with a noble intention of prevention of stranded and protection of destitute non – earning spouse, the same has increasingly become the single largest motivating factor for girls to break their marriages at the slightest sneeze of discomfiture in the relationship with their husbands. And in order to gain a beneficial and an empowered bargaining position in the negotiation for alimony they even do not refrain from filing false cases of Dowry Harassment against their husbands and in – laws and getting them arrested to plant fear in their mind to make them succumb to their heavy demands of alimony.

Thus, in today’s dynamic socio – economic scenario, alimony has become the Trojan Horse of matrimony. Girls know it very well that the moment they start losing control in the marriage or over their husband they can always walk out of it by entangling the husband in false cases of dowry harassment and domestic violence and harassing him so much that he agrees to pay the heavy ransom girls demand to release him from the forced slavery and give him the costly freedom called divorce.

Was ever alimony in divorce meant to be an easy route to tax – free money? Never. But with the existing rampant corruption amongst the police, judiciary and the legal system, men are made to pay heavy alimonies to their estranged wives for settling the false cases and everyone involved in the settlement gets a share of the pie. The practice is thriving like a flourishing business which is so anti – male in nature that every year 56, 000 married men are committing suicide, unable to bear the brunt of fallacy called, The Bad Marriage.

As its definition stands, alimony is subsistence – allowance which allows a non – capable spouse to maintain oneself post divorce. Spouses who are earning or are capable of earning based on their qualifications are not entitled to alimony. One might contend by the above definition that for working women / substantially educated women opting for divorce, as they are not entitled to alimony, their husbands need not worry, but it will be imperative to state here that increasing number of such cases are coming forth where either women have hidden the income and the fact that they earn or deliberately left job to squander money from husband.

Even if the woman is not able to maintain herself, then more than the husband, the parents of the woman are a greater culprit for not properly empowering their daughter with proper education and making her dependent on someone else, expecting that the marriage of their daughter with that person will last for eternity. And is it not the daughter’s right in her ancestral property, her legitimate due that she should get? Why are girl’s parents shrugging away from this responsibility of theirs and discriminating between a daughter and a son when distribution of wealth comes into picture? Why is it expected that only the husband is responsible to maintain the woman even when they are not staying together? Why the girl’s parents are not held responsible for such a condition of their daughter? Will the civil society at least think over these questions if not answer them?

NCW caught red handed speaking lies

National Commission of Women (NCW) needs to be banned for its unethical activities.



1) They openly support adulterous women by claiming them as victims and seek amendments to grant maintenance to adulterous women.

2) They openly say, DO NOT BELIEVE THE MEDIA REPORTS.

3) They openly speak white lies as depicted below in the mail conversation between them. Read on.





Would the NCW like to clarify what does it mean by harsh?



1) Sending innocent mothers and sisters on the basis of an unverified complaint is not harsh?



2) Shielding 56, 000 husband killers is not harsh?



3) Fudging statistics to get foreign funds for implementing anti - family, avaricious, pernicious, draconian, anachronous, anti - male laws and unleashing them unto the society is not harsh?



4) Openly protecting the rights of adulterous, promiscuous women is not harsh?



5) Demanding multiple maintenance from males under pretext of false allegations is not harsh?, And last but not the least.



6) Turning away old mothers tortured by their unscrupulous daughter - in - laws and her parents is not harsh, saying this does not come under their ambit?



WILL THE NCW ANSWER?



And what realities they are talking of, why don’t they come out in public if they are so astute, devout and sincere?



with regard to your queries you are hereby informed that

1. that NCW does not send innocent mothers and sisters on the basis of an unverified complaint to jails we dont have such power in the first place

2. that the NCW does offer support to women in distress which may also include sisters and mothers and just daughter in laws therefore your presumptions on NCW is factually misleading

3. we do not fudge statistics the staistics are manintained by NCRB and not by NCW

4. ncw has not protected the rights of adulterous women i do not know from where you have gathered such information please do not beleive in media reports

5. we have not ever turned away old mothers etc any women requiring help is provided be it a mother sister or daufghter in law any one requiring assitance can approach us

6. we do not distinguish or categorise in fact you would be surprised to note that the NCW recommendations on implementation of Dowry related acts is that first and foremost resort to counselling and mediation with intention to save the marriage and family and only where a prima facie case exists then the legal recourse is to be taken to

any more queries ???

yogesh mehta

law officer

1) Then why has the NCW not taken any action for the 1, 20, 000 women arrested from 2004 -2007 on a mere FIR? Does NCW consider it right? Does it not consider it should make a move to protect those mothers and sisters who are harassed by police before being tried or convicted? Just answer Yes or NO.



2) Can NCW give me the statistics of the number of women as mothers and sisters it has helped vis - a vis the number of daughter - in - laws it has helped? Just answer Yes or NO. Does NCW maintain such categorized information. Just answer Yes or NO. If not reasons.



3) If you do not fudge statistics, then how did NCW made a claim that 70 % women are denied maintenance on adultery grounds and later when asked to publish source data for it, categorically denied having such information. News link. Do you consider this as fudging of statistics. Just answer Yes or NO. NCW Supporting Adultery. See Link1



4) It is the same media reports based on which you keep shouting on violence on women. And now that I have official email from NCW telling me not to believe media reports. Let the media also know about it. If NCW does not protect the rights of adulterous women by making propositions to remove the adultery clause in maintenance. Do you think this is not supporting adulterous women. Just answer Yes or NO.



5) I would like you to provide me details to convince me how many cases have you have resolved with mediation and how many women other than wives have been genuinely helped by NCW.



PS: We, at Save Indian Family Foundation do not consider the advice to file a case as genuine help as it does not help either. So answer keeping this note in mind.



1) It has been brought to NCW’s notice several times thro’ media. And now also I am bringing it to your notice. What can you do for them? Or better what can you do to prevent such mishaps in future?



2) So categorically NCW cannot substantiate its claim of having supported mothers and sisters?



3) Some cases?? How many judgments do you have? The article makes no mention of that. And when NCW was sent an RTI application for data supporting the claim that in 70 % of cases, women are denied maintenance for adultery why did the NCW reply that it does not maintain such information. If the NCW does not maintain such information, why was it published in Media and if the information was not given by NCW why has NCW not taken action against the tabloid for printing information without approval. This means NCW has got the information published and then later denied having source of that information. Do you consider its ethical on part of NCW to behave in such a manner. I want an answer in YES or NO.



4) “NCW also sought another significant amendment to Section 125, saying that said adultery should no longer be a ground for denying maintenance to a woman. ”



This is from the article. Still you say NCW has not made such a claim and repeat it as well? Are you not writing white lies?? At least make some background research before writing an email. You are being watched by 15, 000 members. And on a discussion note, I would like to know why does NCW consider adultery should be made a civil offense? Adultery in a relationship tantamount to breach of trust. What makes NCW think per se that it is a civil offense and why should a woman be provided maintenance who has walked out of the relationship.



5) Read my point number 5 then revert back. I have asked for some information.



6) Oh sure I will, you do not worry about that.

Unemployed but Qualified wife- No maintanance

IN THE COURT OF MS. MADHU JAIN : ADDL. DISTRICT JUDGE : ROHINI COURT : DELHI



M No. 28/07



Sh. Neeraj Aggarwal – Petitioner

Vs.

Mrs. Veeka Aggarwal – Respondent



ORDER



1.. This is an order on application under Section 24 of Hindu Marriage Act
filed by the applicant/ wife, respondent in the main case (hereinafter referred
to as the applicant) against the non-applicant/ husband, petitioner in the main
case (hereinafter referred to as the non-applicant) for grant of maintenance
pendentelite and for litigation expenses.


2.. In the application it is stated that the applicant/ wife has no
independent source of income and she is not given any kind of maintenance by the
non-applicant/ husband to live her life properly and therefore she is facing
much hardship in the life. The non-applicant/ husband has flatly refused to
maintain her. The non-applicant/ husband is working in a private sector as a
Senior Software Engineer HPC in STM Microelectronics Pvt. Ltd., Plot No.1 A,
Knowledge Park-2 (near LG Gol Chakkar), Greater Noida and is earning about Rs.
80,000/-pm. He has no other liability and he is not discharging his
responsibilities towards the applicant/ wife with ulterior motives to harass and
humiliate the applicant/ wife. The applicant/ wife is the legally wedded wife of
the non-applicant/ husband and, thus, being a husband, he is bound to maintain
the applicant/ wife. The applicant/ wife is fully dependent on the mercy of her
parents, who are having other liabilities also and she has no independent source
of income to maintain herself. It is, therefore, prayed that the non-applicant/
husband be directed to pay a sum of Rs. 30,000/-pm as maintenance allowance
pendentelite to the applicant/ wife and expenses of proceedings.


3.. The application has been contested by the non-applicant/ husband, who in
his reply has stated that the applicant/wife is a well qualified graduate
Engineer in the field of information Technology and just after the marriage she
had joined the service of a private firm and was drawing a handsome salary as
initially she was taking Rs. 5000/-pm. Now-a-days she is competent and qualified
to earn thousands of rupees per month. She is a qualified trained engineer and
she is self stand financially in all respects. The non-applicant/ husband has
never neglected or refused to maintain her in any manner and she was duly
maintained during her stay in her matrimonial home. The non-applicant/ husband
is still ready and willing to provide financial assistance or maintenance if
required or needed by her for any purpose in any manner. It is not denied that
the non-applicant/ husband is also a qualified engineer and is employed in
Greater Noida, U.P. but the actual amount of monthly salary being drawn by him
is Rs. 45,000/-pm. It is stated that he has to maintain his retired father and
ailing, diabetic mother and old grandmother and also to treat his two married
sisters and to look-after his younger unmarried under-education sister of
marriageable age as his younger sister is doing B.Ed. from a regular college. He
is also paying loan premiums and other household expenses. The applicant/ wife
has herself deserted her matrimonial home without any threats or atrocities
caused to her by her in-laws and she is not returning to her matrimonial home
despite the petition for restitution of conjugal rights filed by the
non-applicant/ husband. It is stated that the non-applicant/ husband is publicly
and openly as well as warmly welcoming the applicant/ wife to her matrimonial
home but she has started demanding maintenance sitting in her parental home to
feed her greedy parents and selfish relatives instead of returning to her
matrimonial home and to assist the non-applicant/ husband and her other in-laws
in her matrimonial home at the time of need. It is stated that the conduct,
attitude and nature of the applicant/ wife is of such type that she is not
entitled for any maintenance. Further more, she has also filed a separate
petition U/s 125Cr. P.C. for maintenance only with a view to get the
non-applicant/ husband harassed in a criminal court. It is stated that the
applicant/ wife is not a helpless or poor lady and she is not incapable to
maintain herself as she is a well qualified engineer and is already an earning
hand. She is handing over all her income to her parents. She does not require
any monastery assistance from the non-applicant/ husband as she is already
having a good bank balance in State Bank of Bikaner & Jaipur at Rohini,
Sector-5, Delhi, bearing A/c No. 61005521399 and several other bank accounts
also. She also has some immovable properties in her name. It is denied that she
requires Rs. 30,000/- as maintenance and other charges as prayed. It is,
therefore, prayed that the application be dismissed with heavy cost.


4.. I have heard the Ld. Counsel for both the parties and have carefully
perused the record.


5.. During the course of arguments it has not been denied by the Counsel for
the applicant/ wife that the applicant/ wife herself is an engineer graduate in
the field of Information Technology. Ld. Counsel for the applicant/ wife
submitted that the applicant/ wife submitted that the applicant/ wife joined the
job for some time after the marriage but thereafter due to the marital disputes
she is not in a position to pursue her job and has left the same. In her entire
application the applicant/ wife has no where stated that she is also an engineer
graduate in the field of Information Technology and that she also joined the job
after her marriage. Those seeking justice and equity from the Court must come to
the court with clean hands. It seems that for obvious reasons and to extract
money the applicant/ wife has not disclosed her true qualifications in the
Court. The applicant/ wife is an engineer graduate and, therefore, can very well
maintain herself and there is no need for her to depend upon the mercy of her
parents or on the non-applicant/ husband. The purpose of Section 24 of H.M. Act
is not to extract money from the other party and the court should not be a forum
to extract the money or to blackmail the other party. In II (2000) DMC 170
titled as Mamta Jaiswal Vs. Rajesh Jaiswal, the Hon’ble Madhya Pradesh High
Court has observed as under:-


“Section 24 – Pendente Lite Alimony : Purpose of Enactment : Not meant for
supporting idle (Qualified) spouses waiting for ‘Dole’ to be Awarded by her
husband – Section 24 has been enacted for purpose of providing monetary
assistance to such spouse who is incapable of supporting himself/ herself in
spite of sincere efforts – Spouse well qualified to get service immediately with
less efforts is not expected to remain idle to squeeze out his/her purse by cut
in nature of pendent elite alimony – Wife well qualified woman possessing
qualification like M.Sc., M.C. M.Ed – How can such a lady remain without service
– lady who is fighting matrimonial petition filed for divorce, cannot be
permitted to sit idle and put her burden on husband for demanding – pendente
lite alimony from him during pendency of matrimonial petition.”



6.. In I (2001) DMC 19 titled Sangitaben Rasiklal Jaiswal Vs. Sanjay Kumar
Ratilal Jaiswal, Mehsana, the Hon’ble Gujarat High Court has held that the wife
is entitled for Free Legal Aid and therefore, the Court should keep in mind that
wife is entitled for free legal services also.


7.. In the present case the applicant/ wife is a well qualified engineer and,
therefore, there is no need for her to sit idle at home waiting for the
maintenance from the non-applicant/ husband. In the peculiar facts and
circumstances of the case since the applicant/ wife is well qualified and,
therefore, can earn handsome amount by working and there is no need for her to
be financially dependent upon her parents or on the non-applicant/ husband, she
is not entitled for any maintenance. While hearing arguments on the application
it was ordered that the maintenance shall be granted to the wife till the
disposal of the petition. This sentence in order sheet dated 27.08.2007 only
means that the wife is entitled for the maintenance from the date of filing of
the application till the disposal of the main petition and not thereafter. It no
where reflects that the wife shall be entitled to maintenance I every case come
what may.


8.. Therefore, in view of the above said discussion, the application U/s 24
Hindu Marriage Act of the applicant/ wife is dismissed. There shall be no orders
as to cost. File be consigned to Record Room.


Announced in Open Court

Dated : 19.09.2007

Recognition of women’s rights on Women’s Rights Equality Day August 26, 2008

To,

<>

Sub: Recognition of women’s rights on Women’s Rights Equality Day August 26, 2008

Respected Sir / Madam,

On the occasion of Women’s Rights Equality Day we would like to draw your attention towards a topic gaining momentum in all strata, be it the media, society, or the legislative or executive environment - the ‘Wide and Rampant misuse of Women Protection Laws vide section 498A Indian Penal Code (45 of 1860), Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 leading to mass destruction of the social fabric and familial system of India. It’s a pity to note that this destruction of families is happening under the patronage of the Indian Legal System in the barb and paradoxical veil of “Women Empowerment and Protection”.

Although drafted with the sanest of intentions; to provide women with security in a marriage, of late, due to the large number of false cases making their way to courts, the protector’s shield has become the assassin’s weapon. The women NGOs also, who are supposed to be working as watchdogs, have turned into bloodhounds by discriminating between women related to husbands and wives and failing to recognize, empathize and redress the grievances of those fateful mothers and sisters who have been through the ordeal of seeing their son and brother suffering at the hands of an unjust and almost defunct legal system.

Save Indian Family Foundation, an international network of individuals and NGOs, is working for promotion of Gender Equality and Family Harmony, makes a pleading before your Excellency/good office on behalf of the bereaved and beleaguered mothers and sisters, victimized under false allegations of dowry harassment by their daughters –in – law and their advisors/parents, to kindly look into this matter. One complaint from the daughter –in – law lands the whole family including ailing senior citizens, minor children, as well as pregnant women behind bars and ruins their life in a whiff of a moment. All this happens without investigation and in most of the cases, hefty ransoms are demanded to settle the case.

As per National Crime Records Bureau, in the last 4 years, (2004 – 2007), 1, 20, 645 innocent women have been arrested without investigation / trial under 498A cases.

1) Is this women empowerment- that on an unverified complaint of one woman, three women are imprisoned (on an average) and deemed “Guilty until proven innocent”?

2) Umpteen numbers of cases have been found where the girls’ side, filing such complaints were found to be hiding vital facts about the girl and they in fact file these cases when the hidden facts(affairs, diseases, unnatural tendencies and preferences, etc.) are exposed. Has 498A been designed to seek revenge from and harass husband’s family legally?

3) Is the pain of a mother / sister less when she loses a son / brother than when she loses a daughter / sister?

4) As per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, for the years 2005 and 2006, close to 52, 483 and 55, 452 married men, respectively, have committed suicide as opposed to 28, 188 and 29, 869 married women. But yet there is no law to protect our brothers and sons. Why?

5) According to a report by Center for Social Research, there is only 2 % conviction in 498a cases, which means the law is misused to the tune of 98 % and yet it has not been scrapped. This clearly shows the inaction of the government and the apathy meted out to men and their family members, be it a man or a woman in India.

Today on Women’s Rights Equality Day we demand that,

1) Mothers and sisters of men too are given equal status and their grievances as women are also heard and redressed by State Women Commissions as well as National Commission for Women and the Women and Child Development Ministry.

2) We demand that all cases registered under 498A be properly investigated by a police officer of the level of DCP before making any arrests or registering any complaint the police has written permission from the DCP- in compliance with 1994 Supreme Court Judgment 1994 AIR 1349 SCC (4) 260 Joginder Kumar vs. UOI. It is to be understood that 498a is a serious criminal offense and registering a criminal offense against any person without investigation can lead to serious degradation of the person’s social reputation and irreparable damage to life and career, apart from unfathomable human rights violation and wastage of governmental resources and hence public’s money.

3) Such acts need strong condemnation and the perpetrators of false cases need to be severely punished as they are maligning the system and blocking the path of justice for genuine victims. The State should initiate prosecution suo motu against those found to be misusing laws affecting families.

Gender Equality cannot come by way of Gender Discrimination and stereotyped, anachronous and generalised assumptions, which can only help to undermine the spirit and definition of any law. Taking the statements of the girl’s side as “Gospel Truth” reflects sheer lack of jurisprudence and grave inefficiency in implementation of laws on the government’s part, which needs to be rectified with immediate effect.

Place: Thanking You

Date: 26 August 2008

PRO (Save Indian Family Foundation)

Women Protection vs. Women Empowerment

Alimony in divorces is a serious issue these days. Huge alimonies have stripped men of their finances in the West and this trend is slowly catching in India as well with the growing number of divorces. Recent studies in Mumbai showed that 40 % of marriages end in divorce. In Delhi, every day on an average 10 divorce cases are filed. And in majority of these cases men are ordered to pay alimony as they say alimony in divorce is a positive step towards “Women Empowerment” by making them financially independent. But alimony as a provision in divorce is despicable and subject to serious condemnation for many reasons underlined here,

1) Arranged Marriage in India is a communal decision and takes place as a result of the involvement of society elders, common friends and the parents of both the boy and the girl. Hence when the relation fails to work and ends in a divorce, the husband should not be the only one paying.

2) If it is a love marriage then both the adults are equally responsible and the man should not be the only one paying the price.

3) Alimony is the biggest motivator for women to file a divorce and stop making attempts to save the marriage. Also parents of girls, when they see the marriage is not working, encourage their daughters to move towards divorce in lieu of hefty alimony.

4) Due to the overwhelming and impending burden of alimony, married men in India continue to suffer in a bad marriage and refrain from buying a costly piece of paper called, ‘Divorce’ which results in higher stress levels for men and also higher suicide rates among Indian married men.

In line with the feminism that created waves in the 70s in the West, harsh, lopsided and severely anti – male laws were drafted in India in the name of Women Protection. And at the same time alimony was encouraged in the name of Women Empowerment. Today we have six laws quintessentially achieving the same objective of Women Protection and Women Empowerment in tandem.

But the basic ideology where the law makers, the society living with those laws and the media sleeping in deep slumber, not to protest against the loopholes in the laws and their implementation, fluttered is that, Protection and Empowerment can never go hand in hand. We don’t need to protect an empowered lot, hence when alimony was already provided for Women Empowerment, Women Protection was a redundancy. And if that was not the case then alimony as a means to Empower Women has failed miserably and has rather proved as a “Marriage Breaker” as reflected in a recent statement by renowned Supreme Court justice Arijit Pasayath that the Hindu Marriage Act has broken more families than joining them.

The statements seems more than apt. Though Hindu Marriage Act has provisions for saving as well breaking marriage, the one breaking marriage is more famous i.e. divorce. The section for saving marriage, Section 9 – Restitution of Conjugal Rights is a dead letter section of the Hindu Marriage Act which quintessentially trivializes the Indian culture of saving marriage, but sadly enough it is not only a lesser known section, it is non – executable as well, which means the court cannot enforce an order passed in this section.

Due to such reasons divorces are increasing day by day and the institution of marriage is slowly dying out. The government which barely manages to gather oxygen enough to survive in wake of recent turmoil and power tussle at the center has little / no time to look into this matter, impending over the society as a social catastrophe. The society, whose very existence is subject to strict proof with everyone in the society considering everyone else other than oneself as the society, with its paradoxical veil of technological advancement conveniently, chooses to ignore the victims of a bad marriage. The media, whose hunger for sensationalism is self – feeding, considers only the women as humans, raising its voice for women at every sneeze and whiff, is simply catalyzing a gender divide in the society and nothing else.

In view of the all the above contentions and discussions, yet it remains a question, whether Empowerment and Protection can go hand in hand? Let the stalwarts answer this.

Marriage - The other side of the coin

Marital problems have started contributing to stress in a very big way. Day in and day out we hear people succumbing to marital problems with the growing numbers of suicides among married people especially males. As per suicide statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau, for the years 2005 and 2006, close to 52, 000 and 56, 000 married men committed suicide respectively. And the same years noted a splurge in the number of dowry harassment cases filed as reflected in the number of such cases filed – 58319 and 63128. Coupled with that, if a study conducted by Center for Social Research on the conviction rate of such cases is anything to go by, it shockingly reveals that there is only 2 % conviction in such cases. This means 98 % of such cases are false, and thus a false claim of dowry harassment was made.

Not only that, based on that false statement, the husband and his entire family was arrested, put behind bars, made to cough out huge amounts to get a bail and had no choice but to fight a legal battle in an otherwise defunct and dead judicial outreach and was also subjected to malicious prosecution. For the charge of dowry harassment being false, the concocted stories of alleged torture would also bear no ground. Having thus said, section 498A IPC, being heavily misused has actually turned out into an assassin’s weapon rather a protector’s shield as rightly pointed out by the Honorable Supreme Court of India. Instead of making families, it is breaking families, for any woman who has falsely implicated her husband and in – laws in a false criminal case has lost their trust and the marriage has been dead for all practical purposes.

A recent study in Mumbai claimed 40 % of marriages registered in Mumbai end in a divorce. And most of such cases involve filing of a false dowry case in order to get a quick divorce with a hefty alimony. Unscrupulous girls, supported by ill – minded parents, especially mother, pampered by a biased legal system who is highly de – sensitized to husbands (read married men) have found this as a very easy way to earn tax – free money. And to add to that all of those so called marriages have been performed on some auspicious date / time in consultation with some purohit / pundit etc.

When marriages could last so strongly for ages down the memory lane, and those too were conducted on some auspicious date / time in consultation with some purohit / pundit etc., what has changed so drastically in recent times that marriages have become a source of business opportunity for women and a source of ignominy and stress for men? Save Indian Family Foundation, the single largest NGO committed to the cause of spreading the message of Gender Equity and Family Harmony in addition to providing free legal, moral and psychological support to the victims of false dowry harassment and Domestic Violence cases, receives on an average of 200 calls a week over its various help lines spread all over India and abroad as well from battered and harassed men who are either victims of the misuse of these laws or are subjected to Domestic Violence at the hands of their wives.

Have we come of the time to consult a lawyer rather than a pundit or a purohit to decide a marital knot? Especially a male does need to do so before tying the knot. For if the marriage does not work (which is quite possible in today’s dynamic socio – economic scenario), he will have to bear the brunt of the fallacy. A false case lodged with the help of the corrupt police force, sleeping judiciary and mercenary lawyers robs the man of his health, wealth, life, career and happiness. Even with a low conviction rate, the mental trauma that the man and his family including his mother and sisters and his father and other relatives undergo cannot be described in words and is by no means less than actual conviction.

But does life end there? Is the end of marriage, the end of life? Perhaps yes, but probably no. Looking at the alarmingly high and surprisingly suppressed suicide statistics of married males as mentioned in the first paragraph, it is probably true that for married males, end of marriage is end of life. But seeing the spirits of a few thousand volunteers at Save Indian Family Foundation, reality shifts. Here people have not only gathered strength to fight against the system and stride against the tide, but have also developed high amount of positivity in their life and learned to remain happy despite a despicable and pathetic married life.

Marriage can definitely be the first step towards family foundation but cannot substitute life itself. Life is too big and diverse and there are many things to be done in life than to waste it in crying over the split milk called a bad marriage. Like the volunteers at Save Indian Family Foundation has taken cudgels against not only the biased laws and their faulty implementation but also against the mindset that a woman will not break away from a marriage without justifiable reason. This is a bitter truth which the society needs to know, imbibe and live with it, till the time it refuses to change itself.

Just putting sindoor not enough, go the whole hog to be legally wed, rules court

Utkarsh AnandPosted online: Saturday , June 07, 2008 at 11:00:30Updated: Saturday , June 07, 2008 at 11:00:30
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New Delhi, June 6 Simply putting ‘sindoor’ (vermillion) on a woman’s head might work as ‘proof’ of a quick-fix wedding for Bollywood potboilers, but the law does not grant sanctity to such a “marriage”, a city court has observed.

According to Additional Sessions Judge (ASJ) Bimla Kumari, the other nuts and bolts of wedding, as laid down in the Hindu Marriage Act (HMA), have to be followed for the matrimony to get legal sanction.

“Merely putting sindoor in the parting of a girl does not give a title to a man to be (her) husband,” ASJ Kumari ruled in a recent case. “For a marriage, the ‘saptapadi ceremony’ has to be performed under the Hindu Marriage Act.”

The Act, the legislation of laws relating to marriages among Hindus, says that a wedding is “complete” only after the customary rites and ceremonies, including the “saptapadi” (seven steps taken by groom and bride in front of the sacred fire). The court observed that the marriage becomes “complete and binding” only after the seventh step is taken.

The court’s observation came while deciding a case against a man accused of kidnapping a girl to Uttarakhand and raping her.

As the woman — she was found to be over 18 years, and thus of marriageable age — stood by the accused, the court acquitted him of abduction charges. But when ASJ Kumari was to settle on the rape charge, the woman told the judge that he had applied “sindoor” on her forehead in March last with intention to get married. “We made God the witness of our relationship,” the woman contended.

The court acquitted the man of rape charge, as the woman was mature and legally capable of consenting to physical relationship, but refused to acknowledge the wedding. Noting that the girl had admitted that barring the sindoor bit no wedding rituals were performed, ASJ Kumari said they could not be lawfully married under the Hindu Marriage Act. “For a marriage, the ‘saptapadi ceremony’ has to be performed, which is not performed in the present case,” the court observed, while releasing the accused. “It means they were not legally wedded.”

Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

Rally demanding Children’s Right on 14th June 2008
http://www.citizens4crisp.org/
Contact: 98452 64488, 93428 53272, 9243473794

PRESS RELEASE

On Saturday, 14th June 2008, Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) protest in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road demanding the children rights. People from all walks of life including Software engineers, Doctors, NRI’s and Businessmen will participate in this protest.

CRISP is a Non Governmental Organization(NGO) founded recently by a group of citizens, who recognize the serious effects of “parental alienation” on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or separation. CRISP also focuses on furthering the rights of a children to remain connected with both parents. While most NGOs pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labour, education etc we deal with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents.

Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children with mutual cooperation.

According to CRISP, Parents contemplating divorce should be given manadatory counselling on “shared parenting” and the benefits there of by a panel of experts supervised by the family court. This will eliminate unnecessary child custody battles and stress to the parents and the child and also wasting of precious time of the courts.


Parental alienation occurs, when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children for personal vendetta. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent.” This brings a lot mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent.

Indian legal system is still based on patriarchal mindset, which considers fathers as not capable of nurturing the children. However, today many fathers are competent of taking care of the needs of the children for normal upbringing. When women can multitask by going to work after domestic chores and also take care of children, it is baseless to say that men/fathers are not capable of taking care of children. With rise in number of working parents in nuclear family setup, father’s involvement in raising the children is a must. Otherwise, the child is simply left at the mercy of servants and strangers in day care centers and exposed to all sorts of child abuse.

The mindsets in Indian legal system has to change by taking account of the current social situation. Shared parenting is recognised in many western countries.

CRISP demands an Early Intervention Project where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children’s upbringing before proceeding with the divorce decree.

“Studies have shown that children who go through their parents’ divorce have

more conduct problems,
symptoms of psychological maladjustment,
lower academic achievement,
social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents.

To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this is often traumatic for the child and this cruelty on the children has to be stopped immediately.

Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Since 1960, the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. As the proverb goes,“One father is better than 100 teachers.”

In United States of America, Statistics reported tells that Children from fatherless homes are:

5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away from home.
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape.
9 times more likely to drop out of high school.
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)
9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison.
3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.
It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioural problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible to our society. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.

CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial system, legislative system, and public awareness, which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce and the breakup of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the child.

As custody battles between parents increase, counselling of separating or divorced parents can have a positive effect on the overall development of the child.

CRISP wants to highlight:

That joint custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated. Child needs the support of both biological parents. Both biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children.

That “Interparental Child Abduction” is Child Abuse. Often one parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other parents or the courts. It is known as parental abduction and is a criminal act under international laws including Hague Convention.

That the practice of alienating the child from the other parent is Child Abuse.

That grandparents should have rights and access to their grandchildren.

That gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation.

That parties should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.

Demands by CRISP - Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting:

Ensuring meaningful and balanced participation of both parents in the lives of children in case of separation of the parents.
Single mothers should be given mandatory counselling to increase involvement of biological father in the child’s life.
Existing visitation schedules to increase and enhance the role of “non-custodial parents” in the best interest of the child.
Reforms in the existing child custody laws, practices for equal parenting sensitised to consider child’s ne.
50% of the custody to be given to the fathers.
Govt must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impact on fatherless children.
Creating a Ministry for children by separating the existing Women and Child (WCD) ministry. A separate union minister for children must be appointed.
On 14th June, CRISP activists from various parts of India will conduct a massive protest in front of Gandhi Statue, on MG Road Bangalore. The time of the protest is from 10:00am till 1:00pm. About 150 to 200 men, women, elders and children are expected to participate in the protest. There are 30 to 40 men and women traveling from Hyderabad, Chennai and other parts of South India to participate in this protest. Most of them are scientists, NRIs, Software Engineers, Doctors and Business persons. The protests will be held every month in different parts of India till Indian parliament amends the laws to Save Indian Children and prevent social catastroph in future.

To the WCD Ministry

Honorable Ministers,

As a citizen of India, I seek an answer to the following questions:-

1. As per NCRB data every year, 56000 married men are committing suicide every year on an average. If a married woman dies, it by default assumed to be a dowry death and the whole family of husbands is thrown in to jail. Whereas for a husband death it is just marked off as another death and no action is taken. So is the value of a man's life any less than a woman's life? Or is it that the pain of a mother / sister losing her son / brother is out of the ambit of the purview of these ministries?
2. Why is there no clause of punishment for people filing false cases under section 498A and 3 & 4 DP Act and Domestic Violence Act 2005 and 125 CrPC?
3. Why is section 498A violating the basic principles of Human Rights as laid down by Amnesty International and assumes the accused 'Guilty until proven innocent'?
4. As per NCRB data, 1, 00,000 innocent women have been arrested under section 498A IPC and Section 3 & 4 DP Act, without any trial, merely on the basis of allegations. What action has your concerned ministry taken in this regard to ensure that the offenders are booked and such actions are not repeated in future?
5. Day in and day out, we here cases of senior citizens being evicted out of their own dream home, built out of life - savings by their unscrupulous Daughter -in - law. What has your concerned ministry done to redress the grievances of those mothers who lost their home, their abode in their dusky days to the misuse of a system badly implemented?
6. DV Act is termed Ultra - Vires the Constitution of India as it advocates conviction of a person on sole testimony of complainants and violating Article 13 of the Indian Constitution which says, "All citizens are equal in the eyes of law". So has your concerned ministry taken steps to redress the same loophole? If not, why so? And if there are any plans, when so?

Is it a man's world?

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.

If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.

If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.

If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.

In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?

Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.

If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.

Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.

Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.

Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Legal Terrorism at its zenith

Mr. Gurpal Singh, a resident of Delhi, recently suffered a heavy personal loss in his life, with his father suffering from a heart attack. The reason the old man died an unnatural death was his daughter –in – law threatening to file cases based on false allegations of dowry harassment and related torture. His daughter-in-law had occupied his own house and thrown them out form their own home one year back and subsequently, his father and mother have to make rounds of the court/police to get back their own home, which failed till date. They even had to spend nights at "Gurudwara" in spite of his own home he made for his old time. Unable to bear the burden of a false allegation of a crime as grave as ‘Dowry Harassment’ and the associated stigma and social ostracization, Gurpal’s father succumbed to the pressure.

Every year 70, 000 cases of dowry harassment are filed and if the data compiled by Centre for Social Research is anything to go by, 98 % of such cases are false, void of merit and filed with an adverse motive of extortion, revenge and an intention of settling petty marital discords. In the last four years 95, 000 innocent women have been arrested solely on the base of allegations of dowry harassment, without any trial being ever conducted. When such a case comes to the police station or any so – called women’s organization, the first thing done is to take the whole family into the ambit of suspicion, without verification of the complaint, including small children and senior citizens, and pregnant sisters.

In case a woman dies within seven years of her marriage, the death is viewed with suspicions of dowry related harassment as a de – facto standard and the whole family of the in – laws are thrust into the prison and denied bail. Such fears have risen to such alarmingly high levels in the society that even the mention of such a threat to file a case can drive any person into deep wells of fear and uncertainty. Gurpal’s father also was going through the same mental phase and not being able to take the pressure, suffered from an emotional breakdown and a son lost his father in the most crucial period of his life.

It is highly disheartening to see the pathetic state men and their families are in currently in the society. Living constantly in a fear of false allegations being leveled against them and washing their lives in a whiff of a moment, some commit suicides, some give way to biological irregularities while more others are compelled to give in to unreasonable, unjustified and illogical demands in lieu of not filing a case. Is the value of a man’s life less than the value of a woman’s life, so much so that the society considers taking their lives as ‘Social Service’ and does not feel any need to take some steps to improve conditions. The daughter – in – law of Gurpal’s father is responsible for his sad demise, and charges of abetment of suicide need to be leveled against her and such a blatant misuse of laws deems punishment. Such acts fall no short of Legal Terrorism.

Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) an NGO committed to the cause of spreading awareness of this ongoing Legal Terrorism in the society and helping its victims, seeks to demand police intervention in Gurpal’s father’s sad demise and book the offenders for the crimes committed. A man’s life is not to be wasted like this making it a price of unleashing Legal Terrorism and such a loss needs to be compensated with timely justice. It would be absolutely mandatory to reiterate here that as per National Crime Records Bureau’s Data, every year close to 75, 000 men end their lives in suicide, more than double the number of women, yet men have no protection from the law. In addition to that they are subjected to wide and blatant false allegations and victimized under highly biased legal system plagued with lopsided laws.

Gender biased and draconian laws formed on the basis of highly bloated statistics are coming under high scathing as increasingly they are becoming tools to exercise unwarranted power and control. To add to it they have become legal channels of tax - free money extortion sponsored from tax payers’ hard earned money. SIFF condemns such laws and urges the government to take drastic and timely steps to avoid a social catastrophe turning a civilized society into a jungle of state sponsored Legal Terrorism snuffing lives out of innocent citizens in the dusky days.

Unfortunately if this had been the Father of a girl, all channel would had flashed the News, an old father ends his life for Dowry harassment and the husband's father/mother/sisters/child would havae been put behind the bars, but cases such as these always go un-reported, resulting in more and more elder people loosing their life silently, which it seems that not only the government authorities our media friends also believe to be considered as *"Social service of India" as the DIL killed the FIL.

Reconciliation

Marriage as an institution has always been highly placed in the Indian sociological scenario. It has been always been seen as the first step towards settled life and laying the foundation of family. But as they say, “All human troubles start from the inability to sit quietly in a room,” this so called sacred institution has its own dark side. Where, on one hand, marriage provides a platform to two individuals coming from totally different backgrounds and albeit different mindsets to come together, understand each other and be each others support in life, financially, morally, spiritually, emotionally and physically, it has its own uninvited share of problems. The most talked of and debatable of the problems associated with marriage is DOWRY. Sometimes the girls’ family give dowry as a pre-assumption that the boys’ family shall keep the girl happy and sometimes it is seen from the boys side as compensation to take care of the girl. With increasing reports from the media about the torture meted out to the Indian Daughter-in-law about dowry harassment and deaths due to it, the Govt. of India formulated the Dowry Prohibition Act in 1961 and introduced Section 498A in the Indian Penal Code in the year 1983, wherein harassment of the ‘wife’ for dowry was named as a criminal offence and extremely strict measures were provided within its ambit to protect the ‘Married Woman’ from the clutches of money-hungry dowry demanders. It just required a written unverified complaint from the girl or any relative on behalf of the girl to file a criminal case against the ‘HUSBAND’ and his family members and they would be arrested immediately and sent to judicial custody until either they were bailed out or chargesheeted and trial ensued. But it was a very big catch there, since the provision gave the police discretionary powers of arrest, and that too on an unverified complaint, as also filing a false complaint under this offense and leveling false accusations against the HUSBAND and his family did not attract any punishment on the girl or her parents, a lot of false complaints have started pouring in.

The police have a field day as they get a golden chance to make money from both sides for settling the dispute and the girls’ side get an upper hand as they can now extort money from the husbands’ family using the criminal case, the fear of police, arrest, and social stigma associated with jail as a weapon. Cases where money is not a prime concern, such a false case has been used by the girls’ side to get their unjust demands conceded, like staying separate from the boys’ parents, siphon boys’ hard earned money to girls’ parents if the boy is rich / well to do, or to end a relationship where the ‘expectations’ of the girl were not met, or to break a marriage to marry someone else whom the girl is in love with, or to get custody of children, and a plethora of such reasons. But it is not always the girls’ side that has to be blamed, many a times it has been found that the girls and their family have been ill-advised and misguided by unscrupulous and insincere lawyers who are out to make their own money. There have been cases where the judges also force the boy to compromise. And in such cases and many more, the girls repent for having taken such a step and they hope for reconciliation and want to arrive at a compromise. And so we have the next obvious big question, “What should the man do, reconcile or not with a wife who has a filed a false case of dowry harassment?” So we will take a peek at that possibility, its chances of occurrence and possible / fearful repercussions.

If the boy decided to take the girl back, then on one side it looks like a marriage has been saved and both of them have given a second thought to the relationship despite considerable differences and this shall highlight the importance of the institution of marriage as also shall throw light on the necessity of tolerance, acceptance and adjustment to make a relation work. Also it shall save the courts from being overburdened with another case and both the families from the headache of another marriage. In case the couple had children, they would be spared the tragedy of a single parent, as for a successful upbringing the child needs both the parents as has been corroborated by a study in US that children brought up by single mom have a increasing tendency and majority of them turning out to be criminals when they grow up. It will also set an example to others about how a relation can be saved.

Having said that, let us have a look at the other side of the coin. It has to kept in mind that the dowry case is false and the allegations has been fabricated and a severe breach of trust has been committed by the ‘wife’, leading to severe deterioration of the economical, emotional, and reputational health of the HUSBAND and his family. If a woman can walk into the police station and levy false accusations on the husband and forces him to concede to her ‘DEMAN DS’ deemed as ‘JUST’ by an explanation sounding logic to her ears, taking undue advantage of a law that has been made to protect the ‘WEAKER’ women, this thought of bringing such a woman back into one’s life shall invite justifiable contention. When already she has crossed the line, what is the guarantee that she will not cross it again or she will not cross it again with a larger fury? The first time she filed the complaint in a fit of immaturity and had not done her homework properly and therefore could not get what she wanted and thus offers the bait of compromise to be able to enter the house again and plan a proper route to jail for her husband and her in-laws. She will collect evidence in her favor, humiliate in-laws and instigate them to create a scene of violence, for when a woman gets vindictive she gets very dangerous and ruins everyone around her, including self. She can forge drama that there has been attempt to her life and limb by any means like, cutting her hands, or setting her sari on fire and dousing it and portraying it as act to murder her and all she has to do is to utter the word, ‘DOWRY’ in front of the police and the in-laws are behind bars and in deep shit, even if they are innocent and the woman shall have the power to make them dance at her whims and fancies.

Bringing her back, would also empower her by granting access to your possessions (financial instruments, emotions, attachments) to a serpentine creature, who can misuse them to the core. It will set a bad example in a society encouraging other women to resort to such tactics and rule their husband’s life and family. We need to keep in mind that no law can run a household and once the petty marital discords have been shaded legally, the relationship has been murdered in all practical aspects and it is just a matter of time before it is dead on paper. Even if the couple has children and they reconcile for the children, it will be very hard for the couple to stay peacefully, the grudge shall always remain, howsoever the husband is mature and understanding and those children shall always see their parents fighting and will fail to develop faith in the institution of marriage. Expectations should have a limit. If the woman expects that she will keep dancing and choreographing her husband’s and in-laws’ movements and ultimately when she fails, she should be forgiven and provided one more chance, then it has to borne in mind that the MAN had been tagged a criminal for no fault of his and he and his family has gone through a stage of tremendous trauma, stress and unwanted, unforeseen and uninvited hardships, all thanks to the false complaint filed by the wife. It involves monetary loss (perhaps recoverable), emotional draining (irrecoverable and leaves incurable mental scars), reputational assassination (recoverable only to a certain extent, and that too depends on how the individual handles it and perceives it). There has to be accountability for such huge losses and inflictions and effective means to curb such a menace.

With this note, I leave it to the readers to decide whether they would like to reconcile and die a death every day or fight back the menace, contribute their bit to create awareness and save other families and emerge an overall winner in life. I will end this article with a final analogy. A wife who has filed a false criminal case on her husband to settle petty scores and money extortion can be compared with this situation. Imagine someone stuck badly in city traffic and has an urgent nature's call to attend to and at the same time feeling thirsty and wants to have water. The water that was present in the body has been marked as waste and he needs to get rid of it and at the same time he needs some fresh water to quench his thirst. As long as the waste water remains in his body, he will feel uneasy and those toxins in the waste water shall start ruining his system slowly. He needs water, but cannot use the water present in his body; he has to get rid of it. The waste water is a wife who files such a case. In order to carry on in life properly, the man has to get rid of such a wife as soon as possible. The fresh water is new life for the man, the definition and demographics of which are context dependent and individual defined.

Consequences of IPC 498A

First time readers refer to IPC 498A – The most draconian law for reference and continuity.

Having had discussed the features and loopholes of IPC 498A and some of its possible areas of misuse, we will now proceed to discuss the consequences of filing a FALSE DOWRY CASE on the MAN, his friends and families. If for a while we assume that the law is not misused, then also this serves a very lesser purpose as conviction under this law is very difficult, for it needs to be proved the said HARASSMENT for the UNLAWFUL DEMAND was of such nature that it was of danger to the life and limb of the complainant or that it drove the complainant to suicide to the satisfaction of the court beyond reasonable doubt. So we have terms like “satisfaction of the court” and “beyond reasonable doubt” which are highly contentious and interpretation dependent and also difficult to PROVE, DISPROVE or term the accusations and allegations as NOT PROVED.

Hence even if the case is true, justice is hard to be delivered. And the case being true, it is the girl here who has been harassed and yet the chances of she getting justice will be very meek. And for a false case, there is no question of imparting justice to the girl as no harassment as alleged has ever taken place and real justice should be meted out to the boy’s family which never happens in a great country like India which assumes that all daughters-in-law are true to the core and all in-laws of complaining and cribbing girls have never uttered a word of truth in their whole life. As has been repeatedly highlighted that filing a false case is gross misuse of IPC 498A and we have also seen even if the case is true, justice is far to be sought.

The retrospective effects of such a case are far reaching and case based. Firstly it is a lifetime blow to the husband, a stab in the back from someone as close to heart as SPOUSE, LIFE PARTNER. Hence the moral and emotional setback is always there. To add to it, the stereotypic and orthodox mindset of the society that a MAN must have done something TERRIBLY BAD to deserve this kind of treatment. This is a result of age long hypnotization and mass brain wash by the feminists to lead into the whole world believing that women are VICTIMS for no fault of theirs and men are PERPETRATORS of violence without rhyme and reason. With such a one – sided ubiquitously stereotypic mentality prevailing world over and especially within and amongst the legislative and executive machinery, it becomes almost next to impossible for the MAN to prove his innocence, in spite of the fact that he possesses evidences to support his claim otherwise. Such an atmosphere can have wide and varied effects. We shall study those under two categories.

Men who have not yet fathered their offspring: -

For these men, the story is relatively simpler since they do not have the emotional kickback of a child. Also the fact that they have been saved from fathering a new born from a devilish woman gives much solace to them which can transform into the much needed courage to ensue the ever – impending fight. But depending on individuality and circumstances, these FALSE CASES can either kill the manhood or give it a push. Moreover men falsely implicated in such cases seem to lose faith in the institution of marriage completely, especially if the marriage is less than a year old before the case is filed. Such euphoria in the society can lead to severe and irrevocable deterioration of the trust and faith on marriage, the institution which has been the foundation of family life since time immemorial. It is not only those men who are themselves directly involved in such cases but also other unmarried men around such men like their younger brothers, first cousins and close friends who watch the MAN go through the abuse, tend to loose the confidence on MARRIAGE, and refrain from tying the knot. They tend to develop a sense of insecurity getting married as they see rendering themselves liable to be made easy scapegoats of this LEGAL TERRORISM. Moreover they don’t really need to get married to be embroiled in the abuse, as any of their brother’s or cousin’s or for that matter any friends’ wife can also drag them into a false case saying these men were hand in gloves with her husband in ‘torturing her for dowry’.

This view holding true for men who resolve to fight the misuse, we will now see the effects of such a false case on the MAN who gives in to the misuse and either accepts the DEMANDS of the girl or settles for money. Such men not only loose their self-esteem and sense of manhood, leading the life of a henpecked husband but also carry the self-remorse and guilt of setting a bad example and contributing to the spread of misuse indirectly. Whereas the blame for such a conduct on part of the MAN cannot be directly attributed to him as has been already iterated that - “in majority of the cases, the metamorphosis of a happily married man to a legal fighter dies prematurely and the matter ends with a monetary compromise” – the reasons for the death of the metamorphosis is another big topic over which volumes of analysis can be represented. For now we look into the effects of the death of the metamorphosis. And such a man who has conceded to the demands, and has not yet fathered an offspring, when actually does so, cannot set an example of a brave MAN and the offspring shall grow up to see a henpecked man and will carry the traits as such. If she is a girl, she will expect her prospective husband also to be such and if he is a boy, he will realize this as a way of life. So we see a wrong trend being set in the society where giving in to the wife’s illogical demands is considered LIBERATION of WOMEN and not doing so results in her HARASSMENT for which we have the law called IPC 498A, and thus a vicious circle is created wherein the misuse self-feeds itself and grows to be a self-nourished monster devouring the demographics and essences of a sane and awake society.

Another ill-effect of such a false case is the wreckage and deterioration of the intellectual property of the country. It has been observed as a norm that these cases are filed to extort money from high earning people in the corporate world especially the software industry which consists of people having an elevated and sharpened intellect and a relatively higher IQ. Also such cases are filed within 5 years of marriage which means that the MAN is either in his late twenties or early thirties which is a very critical juncture of his career. Embroiling young people for an average of 5 – 7 years in such false cases, where conviction can lead to complete ruin of an illustrious career, can be a dealing and yielding blow to the intellectual property, as the man will spend his time, money and energy towards saving his skin from a stereotypically biased system which has refused to move ahead with times. The investments, read time, money and energy, that the man would have otherwise spent on more useful means is now being forced to be wasted to salvage oneself from an effort to ruin the life of the man in particular and society in general.

These were some of the effects and consequences that a false case can have on the people around and the actual victim, the MAN involved in it. Though they cater in general to men whether fathers or not, we will now proceed to look into the same for fathers in particular.

Men who have fathered their offspring: -

The battle is tougher for these people. For, in addition to fight against the legal system and prove themselves innocent for an offense they did not commit, they also need to muster courage to fight against one more thing, the natural emotion of fatherhood as these unfortunate men are deprived of the time they deserve with their children not only by their vindictive wives but also by the judicial system. Long live the Indian Judicial System, which still believes that only mothers can take better care of children and also force the fathers to stay away from their offspring. The judiciary neither believes in shared and joint parenting nor contesting the case on merits. And the brunt of the fallacy is borne by those fathers who not only carry the false sense of guilt of a crime NOT committed, but also have to kill their fatherhood for feeding a marriage devouring monster called the FALSE DOWRY CASE.

There have been umpteen number of instances wherein the fathers are not only blackmailed in the name of their children but also are forced to compromise for the well-being of the child and in spite of the compromise being undertaken, the men are deprived of their child’s love. And in such cases it is not only the men who suffer, innocent silent sufferer’s cries go unheard who are not only unaware of the system, but also suffer at the hands of a vindictive woman who uses the child as a bargain tool to get her illegal way out legally. And the saddest part of the whole bitter truth is that the whole drama is passed off in the legislative atmosphere as WOMEN LIBERATION and EMPOWERMENT OF THE WEAKER SEX.

Sometimes MEN are just threatened of false cases to be lodged against them in case they make an attempt to meet their children. The Indian Penal Code has provided for visitation rights to Men to meet their children, who are separated from their spouses, but it is a long legal battle for the men before they get visitation rights which is again just for a couple of hours on weekends and that too mostly in the court premises where the MEN are not even allowed to bring anything for their children. If they make an attempt to increase meeting hours of visitation they are again threatened with false cases. All this is a toll on the man already but these women and the system fail to notice and understand that how a child who is deprived of the parental love, that he / she not only deserves but also needs very much for a normal upbringing, develops deep and irrevocable mental scars in his / her early days which are lifelong and play major role in the development of the child’s personality and behavioral pattern.

It is not the only bitter fact that the child and the father are not allowed to meet, the time the child is with the mother, she brainwashes the child against the father. There have been cases where the child does not even recognize their own father and has designated them as UNCLES. The child will grow with a falsely imbibed and viciously superimposed sense of hatred and non – belonging towards his / her father and day the child becomes a father, in case the child is a male, will be non – responsive and indifferent towards his children for he as a child was only shown that a MAN is indifferent towards his children. He was never shown the suffering his FATHER went through in staying separate from his own prodigy for no fault on his part except for the fact that he was a responsible, loving and caring man.

These are just some of the consequences of a false case on the child, the MAN and his friends and relatives. There are many far – reaching consequences of such cases which will affect the social, familial, and the economic health of the Indian society in general and individuals in particular. All those who are right now patronizing this misuse and allowing it to spread in order to realize their ulterior motives of power hunger and political urge need to understand that they are slowly digging their own grave and there shall befall a day in their lives when there won’t be a single soul to cremate their rotten bodies. All those who are undergoing the misuse being its victims and are standing up to fight it shall turn out to be better human beings, who could turn an obstacle in their lives into an opportunity.