Men wail on Renuka’s shoulders

Men wail on Renuka’s shoulders
CHARU SUDAN KASTURI

Renuka Chowdhary
New Delhi, June 20: Women and child development minister Renuka Chowdhary has called a first-of-its-kind-meeting with male activists demanding modifications to laws that they claim are flawed and biased against men.

Top ministry officials said they do not expect Chowdhary to yield to the demand from male groups for “gender-equal” laws, though some of their proposals may be considered. Instead, the minister could use the forum to try and explain to men “the need for laws favouring women”.
The groups argue that the laws against dowry and domestic violence against women as well as the proposed “sexual harassment at the workplace” legislation are discriminatory against men and open to misuse.

The meeting, scheduled for June 25, will be held at the India Islamic Cultural Centre in Delhi. Over a hundred male activists have been invited, ministry sources said.

In the past seven months, the ministry has thrice drawn up plans to organise the meeting, but these were cancelled by Chowdhary. Though the official reason given was that unplanned commitments had cropped up, sources close to the minister said she wanted to be “fully prepared” with legal advice.

“Now that the minister is ready, we are hosting the meeting at a public location where the media will be allowed, because we have nothing to shy away from,” an official said.

Swarup Sarkar, the co-ordinator of Save Family Foundation, an umbrella group of men’s organisations that works in cohesion with similar groups abroad, said he had not received an invite.

“This is a landmark meeting, and the minister, on earlier occasions, had promised us she would invite us. An official from the ministry has informed us about the meeting, but we have not received any official invitation,” he said.

An office-bearer of Rakshak Foundation — a group of NRI men from across the world campaigning against India’s dowry law — said they had not received an invitation either.
The concept note for the June 25 meet lists some of the key changes that the men’s groups want. The words “woman” and “man” should be replaced with “person” in the proposed law against harassment at work. Similarly, “victim” and “accused” should replace “wife” and “husband” in the domestic violence law, they have demanded.

The anti-dowry law is frequently misused, the men say. At present, it is mandatory for police to arrest all the accused named by the woman or her family before even starting investigations. The men’s groups want either prima facie evidence to be made necessary for any arrests or a provision to punish the complainant if the charges are found mala fide.

Hindu Marriages Act breaking more homes than uniting: SC

Hindu Marriages Act breaking more homes than uniting: SC
17 Jun 2008, 1825 hrs IST,PTI

NEW DELHI: Expressing concern over an increasing number of divorce cases flooding the courts, the Supreme Court on Tuesday observed that the Hindu Marriages Act had done more harm to the family system in the country than strengthening it.

"The Hindu Marriages Act has broken more homes than uniting," a vacation Bench of Justices Arijit Pasayat and G S Singhvi observed.

The apex court regretted that the growing number of divorce cases in the country was having a disastrous effect on children of families which get broken in such a manner.

Enacted in 1955, the Hindu Marriages Act which had undergone several amendments till 2003 contains various provisions for validity of a Hindu marriage, restitution of conjugal rights and divorce, the latter being a concept evolved from the English law.

"Even at the time of marriages, anticipatory divorce petitions are being filed," the Bench remarked sarcastically.

The apex court passed the observation while dealing with a petition filed by a divorcee for seeking his child's custody.

"Ego should get dissolved for the sake of the child," the Bench remarked even as the separated parents tried to air their views.

The apex court told the separated couple that it was more concerned with the welfare of the child, rather than the mutual recrimination between the two.

"Ultimately the child suffers. If it is a girl the trauma is more, particularly at the time of the marriage of such children," Justice Pasayat speaking for the Bench observed.

The apex court lamented that the provisions provided in the Hindu Marriages Act for granting divorce on the grounds of spouses suffering from diseases like leprosy, mental illness were being misused by some couples.

"In those days our forefathers never had such problems," the apex court observed while stating that marital disputes during the olden days were sorted out within the four walls of the house.

In this case, Gaurav Nagpal through counsel Manik Karanjawala had sought custody of his 11-year old son.

Nagpal had filed the appeal after the trial court and the Delhi High Court had both granted the custody of the boy to his estranged wife Sumedha Nagpal.

There was high drama during the hearing of the case when Gaurav asked his wife to give him an hour time to sort out certain differences between.

But even before the court could give its views on the plea, Sumedha bluntly rejected the idea.

"It's just an eyewash your Lordship. He has been beating me and my father," Sumedha told the Bench, which however, said that it would not go into the merits of the case at this juncture.

Instead, the Bench said it would personally talk to the couple in chamber during the afternoon.

The matter was also listed for further hearing on Wednesday.

Just putting sindoor not enough, go the whole hog to be legally wed, rules court

Utkarsh AnandPosted online: Saturday , June 07, 2008 at 11:00:30Updated: Saturday , June 07, 2008 at 11:00:30
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New Delhi, June 6 Simply putting ‘sindoor’ (vermillion) on a woman’s head might work as ‘proof’ of a quick-fix wedding for Bollywood potboilers, but the law does not grant sanctity to such a “marriage”, a city court has observed.

According to Additional Sessions Judge (ASJ) Bimla Kumari, the other nuts and bolts of wedding, as laid down in the Hindu Marriage Act (HMA), have to be followed for the matrimony to get legal sanction.

“Merely putting sindoor in the parting of a girl does not give a title to a man to be (her) husband,” ASJ Kumari ruled in a recent case. “For a marriage, the ‘saptapadi ceremony’ has to be performed under the Hindu Marriage Act.”

The Act, the legislation of laws relating to marriages among Hindus, says that a wedding is “complete” only after the customary rites and ceremonies, including the “saptapadi” (seven steps taken by groom and bride in front of the sacred fire). The court observed that the marriage becomes “complete and binding” only after the seventh step is taken.

The court’s observation came while deciding a case against a man accused of kidnapping a girl to Uttarakhand and raping her.

As the woman — she was found to be over 18 years, and thus of marriageable age — stood by the accused, the court acquitted him of abduction charges. But when ASJ Kumari was to settle on the rape charge, the woman told the judge that he had applied “sindoor” on her forehead in March last with intention to get married. “We made God the witness of our relationship,” the woman contended.

The court acquitted the man of rape charge, as the woman was mature and legally capable of consenting to physical relationship, but refused to acknowledge the wedding. Noting that the girl had admitted that barring the sindoor bit no wedding rituals were performed, ASJ Kumari said they could not be lawfully married under the Hindu Marriage Act. “For a marriage, the ‘saptapadi ceremony’ has to be performed, which is not performed in the present case,” the court observed, while releasing the accused. “It means they were not legally wedded.”

Children's Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP)

Rally demanding Children’s Right on 14th June 2008
http://www.citizens4crisp.org/
Contact: 98452 64488, 93428 53272, 9243473794

PRESS RELEASE

On Saturday, 14th June 2008, Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) protest in front of Mahatma Gandhi Statue, MG Road demanding the children rights. People from all walks of life including Software engineers, Doctors, NRI’s and Businessmen will participate in this protest.

CRISP is a Non Governmental Organization(NGO) founded recently by a group of citizens, who recognize the serious effects of “parental alienation” on children due to single parent families on account of divorce or separation. CRISP also focuses on furthering the rights of a children to remain connected with both parents. While most NGOs pertaining to children deal with issues related to child labour, education etc we deal with issues related to unquestionable right of children to be cared for by both biological parents.

Our aims and objectives are based on research findings worldwide which indicate that children do best when both parents are actively involved in their lives, even after separation or divorce. We believe that conflict between parents will get reduced and the mental and emotional health of children will improve, when divorcing parents can be assured of equal and meaningful contact with their children with mutual cooperation.

According to CRISP, Parents contemplating divorce should be given manadatory counselling on “shared parenting” and the benefits there of by a panel of experts supervised by the family court. This will eliminate unnecessary child custody battles and stress to the parents and the child and also wasting of precious time of the courts.


Parental alienation occurs, when one parent disallows the other parent from communicating with their children for personal vendetta. The dominant parent then brainwashes the child against the other parent, assuring the child that it is all right to ignore the other parent.” This brings a lot mental distress and trauma to the child and the alienated parent.

Indian legal system is still based on patriarchal mindset, which considers fathers as not capable of nurturing the children. However, today many fathers are competent of taking care of the needs of the children for normal upbringing. When women can multitask by going to work after domestic chores and also take care of children, it is baseless to say that men/fathers are not capable of taking care of children. With rise in number of working parents in nuclear family setup, father’s involvement in raising the children is a must. Otherwise, the child is simply left at the mercy of servants and strangers in day care centers and exposed to all sorts of child abuse.

The mindsets in Indian legal system has to change by taking account of the current social situation. Shared parenting is recognised in many western countries.

CRISP demands an Early Intervention Project where divorcing parents would have to meet with a panel of experts to clarify issues such as custody, finance, education and children’s upbringing before proceeding with the divorce decree.

“Studies have shown that children who go through their parents’ divorce have

more conduct problems,
symptoms of psychological maladjustment,
lower academic achievement,
social difficulties and problematic relationships with both parents.

To make matters worse, many parents often influence their children to choose one parent over the other and this is often traumatic for the child and this cruelty on the children has to be stopped immediately.

Strengthen Fatherhood and Families: Since 1960, the number of American children without fathers in their lives has quadrupled, from 6 million to more than 24 million. Children without fathers in their lives are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime, nine times more likely to drop out of school, and 20 times more likely to end up in prison. As the proverb goes,“One father is better than 100 teachers.”

In United States of America, Statistics reported tells that Children from fatherless homes are:

5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away from home.
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape.
9 times more likely to drop out of high school.
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances (become drug addicts)
9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison.
3 million teenage girls have sexually transmitted diseases

At least 1 out of 4 teenagers (between 14years to 19years) suffers from sexually transmitted diseases.
It is important for all citizens of the nation to wake up to stop a future social catastrophe as it has happened in western countries. We have to learn from the social experiments in America and Europe and stop repeating the mistakes western countries did in last 30 years. Today, billions of dollars are spent in those countries to tackle the behavioural problems. In fact, this is a major issue in most election campaigns in those countries as billions are spent on it. If a child is denied care of father as at present and if India becomes a fatherless society, then it will simply create more criminals, rapists and drug addicts in next 15 years (as shown in the statistics above). The entire social fabric and culture will be in ruins and the damage will be irreversible to our society. So, CRISP members want to stop this social catastrophe and save the future generations from narrow mindsets.

CRISP is dedicated in putting efforts to the creation of a judicial system, legislative system, and public awareness, which promotes equal rights for ALL parties affected by divorce and the breakup of a family keeping in mind the best interests of the child.

As custody battles between parents increase, counselling of separating or divorced parents can have a positive effect on the overall development of the child.

CRISP wants to highlight:

That joint custody is the best outcome for children whose parents are separated. Child needs the support of both biological parents. Both biological parents should be responsible for the emotional and psychological well-being of their children.

That “Interparental Child Abduction” is Child Abuse. Often one parent takes the child to another country without the permission of the other parents or the courts. It is known as parental abduction and is a criminal act under international laws including Hague Convention.

That the practice of alienating the child from the other parent is Child Abuse.

That grandparents should have rights and access to their grandchildren.

That gender bias should be eliminated from family law and from future legislation.

That parties should resist from using gender biased laws to wreak vengeance on the non-custodial parent.

Demands by CRISP - Children’s Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting:

Ensuring meaningful and balanced participation of both parents in the lives of children in case of separation of the parents.
Single mothers should be given mandatory counselling to increase involvement of biological father in the child’s life.
Existing visitation schedules to increase and enhance the role of “non-custodial parents” in the best interest of the child.
Reforms in the existing child custody laws, practices for equal parenting sensitised to consider child’s ne.
50% of the custody to be given to the fathers.
Govt must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impact on fatherless children.
Creating a Ministry for children by separating the existing Women and Child (WCD) ministry. A separate union minister for children must be appointed.
On 14th June, CRISP activists from various parts of India will conduct a massive protest in front of Gandhi Statue, on MG Road Bangalore. The time of the protest is from 10:00am till 1:00pm. About 150 to 200 men, women, elders and children are expected to participate in the protest. There are 30 to 40 men and women traveling from Hyderabad, Chennai and other parts of South India to participate in this protest. Most of them are scientists, NRIs, Software Engineers, Doctors and Business persons. The protests will be held every month in different parts of India till Indian parliament amends the laws to Save Indian Children and prevent social catastroph in future.

To the WCD Ministry

Honorable Ministers,

As a citizen of India, I seek an answer to the following questions:-

1. As per NCRB data every year, 56000 married men are committing suicide every year on an average. If a married woman dies, it by default assumed to be a dowry death and the whole family of husbands is thrown in to jail. Whereas for a husband death it is just marked off as another death and no action is taken. So is the value of a man's life any less than a woman's life? Or is it that the pain of a mother / sister losing her son / brother is out of the ambit of the purview of these ministries?
2. Why is there no clause of punishment for people filing false cases under section 498A and 3 & 4 DP Act and Domestic Violence Act 2005 and 125 CrPC?
3. Why is section 498A violating the basic principles of Human Rights as laid down by Amnesty International and assumes the accused 'Guilty until proven innocent'?
4. As per NCRB data, 1, 00,000 innocent women have been arrested under section 498A IPC and Section 3 & 4 DP Act, without any trial, merely on the basis of allegations. What action has your concerned ministry taken in this regard to ensure that the offenders are booked and such actions are not repeated in future?
5. Day in and day out, we here cases of senior citizens being evicted out of their own dream home, built out of life - savings by their unscrupulous Daughter -in - law. What has your concerned ministry done to redress the grievances of those mothers who lost their home, their abode in their dusky days to the misuse of a system badly implemented?
6. DV Act is termed Ultra - Vires the Constitution of India as it advocates conviction of a person on sole testimony of complainants and violating Article 13 of the Indian Constitution which says, "All citizens are equal in the eyes of law". So has your concerned ministry taken steps to redress the same loophole? If not, why so? And if there are any plans, when so?

Is it a man's world?

They say it is a man’s world. I disagree. Since childhood men are discriminated against and made to believe that in order to remain happy in this world they have to please the women around, be it their mother, sister, cousins, wives or girlfriends. All histrionics are women – centric and driven by their moods.

If a woman breaks away from a relationship, she is considered liberated and her action is deemed heroic and hailed by one and all, but the same thing done by a man draws only flak. A man does not even get the consideration that he too might be suffering in the relationship and needed a breakthrough, a benefit of doubt women enjoy ubiquitously and as a de – facto privilege. As far as the woman wants to carry on in the relationship, the man is expected to compromise and make the relation work and when she does not want to do the same, allegations are transferred to the man who has to take the blame of the failed relationship and compensate for the same as well and they call it a man’s world.

If a man breaks away from the relationship, the woman is considered a deserted victim and if a woman deserts a man then also the woman is considered as the liberated victim. If a man continues in an abusive relationship he is called an emotional fool and if a woman continues her commitment is lauded and they call it a man’s world.

If a woman looks for a rich and wealthy man she is considered ambitious and concerned for her future. If a man looks out for a wealthy wife, he is termed greedy. If a man shows slyness towards getting married, he is non – social, non – committal and loose – focused in life, but if a woman does the same she is thinking about her life and career. If a woman passes some lewd comments to a man, she is sportive and courageous, but the same thing done by a man becomes a crime attracting strict penalties and they call it a man’s world.

In the olden days girls were shy to speak of their own feelings and it was considered bad to approach women for relationships and we had laws formulated to protect women and it was called the era of women protection. Slowly women became more outspoken and expressed their feelings more vocally and when they felt like ending relationships and started misusing the same laws meant to protect them, we have now what we are witnessing as Women Empowerment. So where do we see a man’s voice or a say in this?

Earlier when men used to initiate divorces, DIVORCE was considered a bad word and a social taboo. Women were provided protection in the form of alimony and maintenance. Seeing it as an easy route to tax – free money, women started initiating divorces leveling false allegations and DIVORCE is no longer considered a bad word!!! If a man is not willing to divorce his wife, he is said to have caused mental torture to the wife by denying divorce, but if a woman refuses to divorce her husband, she is said to have made attempts to save the marriage and they call it a man’s world.

If a married woman dies, the whole family of the husband is put behind bars and denied bail. They are marked off as criminals and booked under IPC Section 304 B (Dowry Death). If a married man dies, the woman is hailed as the victim and gets everyone’s sympathy. Why is the consideration not given to the possibility of the involvement of his wife in his death, when her death is viewed with an assumption of dowry related torture? Even if there are evidences in favor of the man accused, the same are ignored and he is tried for baseless trial and they call it a man’s world.

Men do the most risky jobs in the society, pay 82 % of taxes in India and yet neither do they have a National Commission of Men to redress their grievances nor a Welfare Ministry to look after them. Even we have animal welfare ministries but not one for men. Men are discriminated against in paying taxes as well, for women have additional tax concessions. Every year 1200 crore Rupees and this year 7200 crore Rupees have been allocated to the women ministry. Of this 82 % is paid by men and the same money is used to frame heavily lopsided laws to frame the same men and defame them and abuse them financially and they call it a man’s world.

Even the media is highly sensitized to women’s issues. A complaint of dowry harassment is lodged and the next day, leading dailies carry the news and print it as if the reporters were staying with the couple and put allegations on the man and his family. But for a man’s case either no coverage is given, or some justification is provided to compensate the wrong – doing happening to the man and they call it a man’s world.

Men are mass brainwashed with this euphoria that it a man’s world and so men need to protect women and in this process all that a man does is viewed with suspicion. It is high time we give a second thought to the thought, “Is it really a man’s world?” And “How difficult is it to be a man?”

Protest in Bangalore on Father's Day - 14th June

It takes a man & a woman to make a relationship, known as marriage and the most beautiful outcome of such a relationship are children; beautiful, innocent, full of life, sweet, charming and hordes of other adjectives can be ascribed to them. But irony seems to have devoured even this aspect of life. Children of late have become a tool to obtain, maintain, and sustain supremacy and ego feeding in relationships. Whenever a relationship worsens, a tussle starts between the warring errant couples to get a good scorecard from their children and try to retain them. Many a times they are used as a blackmailing weapon. Men are threatened of false cases if they make an attempt to meet their children. In such a war of egos, no-one, including the two individuals who brought them to this world together, ever bother to think about the rights and future of the children themselves.

Errant and vindictive mothers are often successful in getting custody of their children, courtesy staunchly feminist nymphomaniac mindset of the judiciary giving in to crocodile tears and false show of motherhood in courts. This deprives two individuals of their rights, the child and the father. A child is deprived of a father’s love, affection and care and the father is forced to strangulate his fatherhood. The society and the judiciary need to be sensitized about the importance of the presence of both the parents for a child’s normal upbringing and in the best interest of the child’s future. USA has shown us the catastrophic effects of creating Fatherless Children and Childless Fathers. Teenage Pregnancy, Alcohol addiction in adolescence, high inclination to crimes and many other ill – effects have come to forth in the American Society, courtesy feminism taking its toll with its anti – men policy. With draconian laws favoring women irrespective of merits in Indian legal scenario, Indian society is moving at dramatic pace towards self – extinction.

CRISP (Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting) an initiative taken under the aegis of Save Indian Family Foundation (SIFF) has made its mission to voice the cries of innocent sufferers and sensitize the society about the dire need of both the parents and especially a father in a child’s life. Announcing its launch on 14^th June 2008 at Gandhi Statue on MG Road, near Cubbon Park, CRISP invites people to participate in this noble cause and make an attempt to save the society from a potential and impending catastrophe.